Kairos Moment:
I took classical piano lessons growing up and hated it like
most kids do. However, my mom could see I had a gift in music so she forced me
to attend lessons. The only reason I liked going is because she always brought
me through white castle after my lesson. This was very special for me because I
was the only one that liked White Castle in my family and it was the only time
I ate fast food. I know they are disgusting but sometimes I crave one of those
hot sliders haha!! Anyways, this went on for years and finally one day I was
crying to my mom in the car and I said “all I want to be able to do is worship
while playing the piano.” She must have liked that answer because after that we
were determined to find someone who could teach me chords and how to lead a
congregation into worship. We came in contact with this lady named Abby Lopez
who is an incredible polish musician who had a heart for worship and the church.
She was an answer to prayer. She taught me Chords, how to lead vocally, and a
guitar.
All this was going on when I was in junior high. I was about
13 and that is an extremely hard age for young girls at least it was for me. I
struggled with self esteem issues and also just trying to figure out who I was.
I had a desire to do the things of the Lord but I didn’t spend time in the word
on my own and my idea of a good worship time was singing songs that I liked. I
soon learned that singing songs I liked wasn’t worship at all. One lesson I was
sitting with Abby and she told me to sing out to the Lord whatever was on my
heart. I got extremely embarrassed and said I had nothing to say. She then
stated that I have a lot to say and that I should do what she asked. She would
always come off very aggressive because her first language is polish so she
didn’t spend time thinking about how to say things in a nice way. I have to add
that I was very emotional at 13. People could just give me a weird look and I
would start crying. Needless to say I was all choked up and embarrassed that I
had nothing to say/ sing out to the Lord because I wasn’t confident in who he
was in my life. A week or two later I was at a the Mighty to Save Hillsong
Concert and we were singing the song “Fire Fall Down” and for the first time I
truly had a desire to know the Lord and let the Holy Spirit invade my life
completely. I remember standing there completely unaware of my surroundings
just praying that God would use my mouth to express his goodness and truths in
my everyday life. That was a moment of transformation. I experienced the Lord
in a new way.
The next week when I came to lesson I was singing out new
melodies and truths about the Lord and Abby was shocked. She asked me what
Happened and I explained to her that I wasn’t really sure what happened but
that the Lord had answered my prayer and broke me of my pride. I knew who he was
and I was confident in who He made me to be. After that experience I had a
desire to read His word and become more like him. I started memorizing
scripture and sharing the goodness of the Lord with my friends. I am forever
changed by that moment when I acknowledged the Holy Spirit living in me and
started allowing Him to act through me.
This was the verse I have lived by ever since.
1 Timothy 4:11-16
11 Command and teach these things. 12 Don’t
let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the
believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. 13 Until
I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to
teaching. 14 Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through
prophecy when the body of elders laid their hands on you.
15 Be diligent in these matters; give
yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. 16 Watch
your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will
save both yourself and your hearers.
